Woman recalls Mildly Disappointing Life

I have lived almost sixty five years. I have never been beaten, or physically abused, or not had enough to eat. Occasionally unpleasant things have happened to me, illness for example, but nothing I couldn't get through. I have been without answers, at times, when I ask myself "What should I do?", and I have free range anxiety about my children's happiness and unhappiness. I can honestly say that only a handful of decisions I've made or experiences I attempted were unsuccessful. And let me add that in that handful I include that nonsensical marriage, and if I knew one tenth, hell one hundredth of what I know now about human behavior, it would never have taken place. Nothing personal against myself, just a matter of facts I didn't know, abysmally low standards for normal...all things which I learned later than many people who, in all other parts of their lives, are average or above average. So my question to myself never changes: Despite not being born in Africa or China, two countries which are so very crowded and I would be so unhappy... despite having fairly good jobs and food and caring children for the most part, and just these few mild disappointments, like (2)failing to earn love from one particular man and (3) not having adequate retirement savings and (4) falling far short of my goal of expressing how funny people are and how life can be ephemerally breathtaking...Why do I feel just eternally lost? Outside the lines, alone in a life full of people whom I try hard to be good to?